she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
