I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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