# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
