she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I deserve to be covered in dicks
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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