The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
