Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
