is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
