You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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