Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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