ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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