My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
3pm strippers are depressing
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
