I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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