remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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