Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
