I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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