I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
he fucked my hip out of place.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
