At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
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