everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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