It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
