Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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