Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
this will be a night to untag.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
