Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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