I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
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