If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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