Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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