Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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