Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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