just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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