i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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