I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
