And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
