break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
