I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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