Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
