please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
