its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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