I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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