With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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