You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Pants are for mortals
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