i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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