Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
