Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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