he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
