Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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