GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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