So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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