at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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