I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Randomize
