Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
