He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
